Why didn't I keep up with Marta and find out how she was doing? I guess my own life was just too much in my face. The excuse doesn't change the fact she is out of reach.
I can see how you would feel this way but on the other hand, it's a two way street. Marta didn't keep up with you either.
Just because she happened to be the first one to go, doesn't mean you bear most of the blame.
From one well trained JW boy to another, I'm guessing you are being far more conscientious about this than you need to be.